Malapropos

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11/05/2003 Entry: "Bowel Buddies"

A delicious wheat wafer; an efficient bowel chafer!

I don't know about you, but when I settle down in front of the TV with a snack, the first thing through my head is, boy, wouldn't it be nice if this snack quickly supplied a large amount of insoluble fibre directly to the bowel where, with water, it went to work "pushing, cleaning churning and clearing". By the way, most of that last sentence was blatantly plagerized from a website a snack advertising a product called...Bowel Buddies. Yes, Bowel Buddies. I'll say it again, just so you know I didn't mistype the name of something the manufacturers intend you to put in your mouth: Bowel Buddies. By now I'm sure you're absolutely drooling in anticipation. Oh, or were you just about to retch?

BOWEL BUDDIES

And who do you think came up with this little product? That's right! The Canadians!!! Of course! Who else???

Surgeon General's Warning:

Canadians were delivered to our planet in the year 1907 as part of a plot by the majority of solar systems in a nearby galaxy to make Earth and its citizens appear completely ridiculous by association. Any entity identifying itself as Canadian, repeatedly saying the word "eh," or being overly enthusiatic about hockey is to be avoided, and potentially exterminated, pending closer government investigation. Do not drink their Molson "beer," do not attend their "Cirque de Soleil," and, most importantly, try not to laugh at any segments of the David Letterman show involving Paul Shaffer.

Replies: 6 comments

You are an idiot!!!!

Posted by Baby @ 10/18/2004 08:20 AM CST

You are an idiot!!!!

Posted by Baby @ 10/18/2004 08:19 AM CST

Maybe you should try bowel buddies some time. You sound a little constipated.

Posted by Happy Camper @ 09/17/2004 09:11 AM CST

Maybe you should try bowel buddies some time. You sound a little constipated.

Posted by Happy Camper @ 09/17/2004 09:10 AM CST

Maybe you should try bowel buddies some time. You sound a little constipated.

Posted by Happy Camper @ 09/17/2004 09:10 AM CST

My dad bought some of these last year. I feel so ashamed!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by Carmen @ 09/06/2004 11:28 AM CST