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12/17/2002 Archived Entry: "Pokey the Penguin"

My favorite comic enigma, Pokey the Penguin

Wholly and deliciously unfit for existance, Pokey the Penguin stands firm as one last hold-out of lunacy in this civilized world. What magic does this strange character spin that leaves me desperate to stay awake after five hours of reading, unable to tear myself away from his mesmerizingly inane adventures? I believe it is the search for answers to this burning question: Is this cartoon the product of a genius six-year old, a drunken teenager, or, more likely, the intelligent alien life we have so long searched for?
It's so mysterious, so mind-boggling: The crossed-out exclamations in all caps, the drawings that degenerate into wonderous scribbles, the completely absent logic, the total disregard for and recreation of grammar as we know it.
Try a few of Pokey's adventures on for size. You will soon discover that the mysteries of the universe are all contained within these stories, just out of reach of our feeble human minds:

I'll start you off easy:
LO, SPAKE POKEY, AND THUSLY DID COME THE BUS

A little more for your to chew on:LET US MEET CHICKEN DELICIOUS

I suggest you select a few more on your own now, until you feel you are ready for:
Your first hint of the divine:

And the ultimate truths lie here:
WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM
and here:
THE DEATH OF PERCEPTION, THE BIRTH OF REASON

"PLEASE TO FIND YOUR HAT!!! SKEPTOPOTAMUS"

Someday, you'll thank me. In case you'd like to write me a personal letter of your spiritual revelations, you may address it to: Batman, 221B Baker Street, The North Pole, Darkest Peru 24601