Thursday, June 16, 2005
Fart-Tastic and EXTRA CRUNCHY!!
No, I am not talking about the White Castle burgers you left in the hot sun on your dashboard for two days and then decided to eat. I am actually talking about children's literature, as advertised, VERBATIM, on Scholastic's website. I feel like I'm copping out on this one. But seriously, I was unaware that Captain Underpants was actually intended for children, or that it had become something a respectable place like Scholastic would want to associate with. Let me give you a few little excerpts:
"Just when George and Harold thought they were safe - here come the robo-boogers!"
"the Bionic Booger Boy comes to sticky, snotty, really bad-tempered life..."
They even come out and admit it!
"it's packed full of violence, toilets and completely inappropriate humour..."
You know where I take heart in this whole thing? It's actually on the British version of Scholastic's website: Nuf said? I think so.
Posted by Sarah [Overwhelmed? Click here for just this raving] [No Comments]
Monday, September 6, 2004
Looking for a great gift?
And by "great," I mean, of course, HORRIBLY INAPPROPRIATE AND TERRIFYING. Gifts for mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, brothers, cousins, uncles...that is if you HATE them. No matter what you select from this sites pickings, I'd like to suggest an appropriate message for your card: Dear So and So: I hope you have nightmares and develop a permanent twitch. Love, Me.
ENTER THE VOID
Posted by Sarah [Overwhelmed? Click here for just this raving] [5 comments]
Saturday, June 26, 2004
A lot of butt-shakin, and adults in tiger costumes.
No, it's cute, I swear!
KENYA BELIEVE IT?.
There's a cuter cartoon version, but as long as we're an "inappropriate" website, I believe this one, however cute, fits the bill.
Posted by Sarah [Overwhelmed? Click here for just this raving] [4 comments]
Wednesday, March 24, 2004
burtreynolds.com. Now here's a website that shouldn't have happened. I could insert a lot of snappy wisecracks here, but frankly, the whole subject just makes me feel kind of queasy. Thankfully, the "downloads" section is empty. I predict that for the next week, I will wake up several times a night in a cold, breathless sweat, having wrestled out of a nightmare where I imagined just what those downloads might have been. And here's something a little creepy. The only thing on "Burt's Favorite Links" is Ann Margaret's webpage. I guess maybe they're married, I don't know these things. Burt Reynolds is just one of those subjects that you try to know as little about as possible, like the mating habits of meal worms, or what Cher looks like under her "human suit." Obviously, I am not including a link here. The only reason I mention this site in the first place is because I stumbled onto it looking for a movie that I was ruefully unaware Burt was in. And sharing an emotionally scarring experience with others lessens the pain. Thank you for helping bear my load, my brothers and sisters. May the good Lord heal us all.
Posted by Sarah [Overwhelmed? Click here for just this raving] [No Comments]
Wednesday, November 5, 2003
A delicious wheat wafer; an efficient bowel chafer!
I don't know about you, but when I settle down in front of the TV with a snack, the first thing through my head is, boy, wouldn't it be nice if this snack quickly supplied a large amount of insoluble fibre directly to the bowel where, with water, it went to work "pushing, cleaning churning and clearing". By the way, most of that last sentence was blatantly plagerized from a website a snack advertising a product called...Bowel Buddies. Yes, Bowel Buddies. I'll say it again, just so you know I didn't mistype the name of something the manufacturers intend you to put in your mouth: Bowel Buddies. By now I'm sure you're absolutely drooling in anticipation. Oh, or were you just about to retch?
BOWEL BUDDIES
And who do you think came up with this little product? That's right! The Canadians!!! Of course! Who else???
Surgeon General's Warning:
Canadians were delivered to our planet in the year 1907 as part of a plot by the majority of solar systems in a nearby galaxy to make Earth and its citizens appear completely ridiculous by association. Any entity identifying itself as Canadian, repeatedly saying the word "eh," or being overly enthusiatic about hockey is to be avoided, and potentially exterminated, pending closer government investigation. Do not drink their Molson "beer," do not attend their "Cirque de Soleil," and, most importantly, try not to laugh at any segments of the David Letterman show involving Paul Shaffer.
Posted by Sarah [Overwhelmed? Click here for just this raving] [6 comments]
Friday, October 24, 2003
I don't know. I don't know, and I'm scared. I think this man needs to be arrested. I think I've been a part of something I shouldn't've been...I'm just not sure what that is.
zombo.com
p.s. If you don't have speakers, you really won't know. Get a computer with speakers before viewing this page. Get one anyway, you putz. How can you not own a computer with speakers?
Posted by Sarah [Overwhelmed? Click here for just this raving] [4 comments]
Monday, August 4, 2003
Is your genteel nature slightly offended by the in your face marketing of today's products? Do you gasp in shock at the four men in a Sheraton bed commercial bed? Do you cringe when you see the Mountain Dew Divers jumping off a bridge? Do you cover your ears at the suggestive sayings of the Doritos women?
Despite all that- I bet you think poop is funny, don't you? Yeah I thought so- so go read Take your X-TREME marketing and shove it.
Choice quotes:
"Corn gone wrong is also known as rotten"
"the Soynut bar seemed incapable of mountain biking"
"diarrhea that contains magical X-TREME Sports fairies "
please, don't click if you answered no to the poop question...ok, I warned you...
Posted by Jessica [Overwhelmed? Click here for just this raving] [4 comments]
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